Dumping My Facebook Friends

Tina Turner once said, “Sometimes, you have to let everything go—purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything—whatever is bringing you down—get rid of it. Because you will find when you are free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.”

So why am I listening to the advice of this attractive and energetic entertainer whose legs go on forever?

Well, because Tina makes sense.

After about three years on Facebook, the thrill of having Facebook is gone, and I very seldom check in to see what my Facebook friends are doing. My addiction to Farmville and Mafia Wars is also dead and gone. The daughter of a farmer, I watched my farm in Farmville die of neglect. I quit Mafia Wars after Snoop Dogg helped blow up an armored truck in the Las Vegas desert. You could only tell Snoop Dogg didn’t know anything about the game. Not only was he paid to MC the event, he was late.

Despite what people say about mixing Facebook with pleasure and keeping a Facebook account as part of the business of being a writer, the last thing I would want is to shuffle people over to my Facebook page. “Tell me who your friends are” or “birds of a feather flock together” is the old saying. If you’re like me, I am embarrassed to tell you who you would find:

The Gamers

My husband is addicted to Facebook games, and so are some of our friends and family members. My husband plays Facebook games called “Global Warfare” and “Kingdoms of Camelot”.

“How’s Your People today, Hon?” I ask him.

I usually don’t get a reply from Mr. La-Z-Boy, but I can see him smiling at his laptop screen and His People. I can see his fingers moving over the keyboard.

My husband, whether I like it or not—is alive and on Facebook.

All his comrades playing these games at least deserve to be called Your People. So with every move my husband, our friends and our family makes while playing their Facebook games, I get all of them hogging my Facebook page. And they are always inviting me to join.

The Party Animals

They are young and beautiful and come pictured in groups, have drinks in their hands and are in different stages of undress. Some show off their newest tattoos and have you guess where on their bodies they are located. The women are dancing with each other or grabbing at their body parts (or ones belonging to other girls), and they don’t care who is taking photographs.

Do I know really know these people? Did I used to babysit some of them?

The Material Boys and Girls and Name Droppers

Photographs of the new luxury car, house or boat defines these people. Or it’s the photographs of them with a visiting politician who is alive or near death. They want you to believe that they are close, personal friends with people of wealth and power. In real life, they have just attended a fundraiser and contributed to the politician or the politician’s cause. In exchange, you get a photograph with the candidate and the usual rubbery chicken breast dinner.

Rich Old Men and Women

Unfortunately, I’m not in this group. I am a pensionada living in California, which means each month; I am waiting on my pension to pay for my living expenses, hobbies, vacations and any emergency which comes my way. When I’m talking “emergency,” this could mean anything.

These old rich people are retired and are never home because they are always doing things and going places. And they never seem to run out of money. They are the ones who drive around in the cute little sports cars meant for someone half their age. But age counts, here. They can purchase the car with cold hard cash and still have plenty of money for insurance and registration.

The Family People

One more cutesy photograph of the child, grandchild or the family outing is enough to make you want to throw up. When it comes to family members and the family as a whole unit, these people never run out of photographs. In fact, they never run out of babies. Little do they realize that the “Awwww Factor” had run out on their photographs a long time ago?

The Miserable Ones

These people are never happy because all they do in life is get on Facebook and rant. But the truth is, they don’t have a life and are angry and envious that everyone around them does. Facebook is their only friend, and it allows them to stay home and spend hours “talking” to anyone who will listen. If you don’t have anything going for you, Facebook is the place to be.

When you think about it, Facebook is juvenile because when you get down to it, the participants are usually trying to get your attention. But, there are still people who claim not to have a Facebook account. In the long run, Facebook is just another thing to take up your time.

When you ask someone to be your Facebook friend, you can just as easily befriend them when they piss you off or you no longer want to be associated with them. But if you already have Facebook friends and only want to turn off what they’ve been doing, why go through the drama and hurt their feelings? As in real life, you can let these friendships fade away. Or if you change your mind in Facebook and want to see what they’re up to, you let them back in.

How do you do this? Simply bring up the “X” or Remove on the upper right side of the post and the hit the “Hide this post” or “Hide this”. They will never know what you’ve been doing.

So here I sit with a Facebook account and nothing on it because I have temporarily eliminated my Facebook friends with the touch of a keypad. If you are my Facebook friend, maybe we can act like real friends and call each other or get together and play “catch up” over drinks or a long, relaxing meal.

Sounds like a plan, don’t you think? Isn’t that what friends do?